woody allen makes me laugh!

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.